And herein lies the crux: "Family First" doesn't mean - and no offense to Chris Lema - but 5-6 vacations per year. It doesn't mean a family yearly membership to DisneyWorld. It doesn't mean moving your family across country for a better school system. It doesn't mean cashing in stock options for a pool.

It really simply means choose your family first.

If you're working 70hrs weeks to provide for your family - in lieu of being a cheap ass who is forcing your family into welfare - that's family first. And that's something to be proud of.

If you're choosing to skip a WordCamp because it's Halloween weekend and that's important to your children -- that's family first. And that's something to be proud of.

If you turn off Twitter and disengage from the net because your partner is staring you down -- asking for your attention --- that's family first. And that's something to be proud of.

It has little to do with money. I had money. And stock options. And 5-6 vacations per year.

And I had a husband who never chose family first. He chose self first. And when we divorced, the primary cause was neglect of family responsibilities and selfish choices. For about 2 yrs following that we lived a very meager existence and I constantly questioned my choice to leave. When you go from a really nice home in a bustling big city to government subsidized housing in small town, Texas, you can't not stop and question your decisions. But 4 years later - we're rocking a pretty balanced life. And in those 4 years, my ex-husband has proven time and again that he will never choose family first. So I made the right choice. I put my children first. I put my family first. I did what I had to do. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'm proud of what I've done for myself and the children.

We don't live high on the hog. In fact, to be honest, if I hadn't met Paul Clark - who got me involved with the WordPress economy when he hired me in 2013 - I have no idea where we'd be financially. But that chance encounter led to some really strong relationships, the opportunity to really network in the WP Community and that has segued into one job, then another, then another, and now I'm successfully freelancing my time away as an independent digital project manager, I'm helping manage a WordPress premium plugin build with Cindy - who I met through Paul Clark - and I'm running my own little digital services agency.

All because I chose family first.

I really want a 55" tv. I would love to be able to spend 10mins online and order one and not have to wonder where in the budget that money was going to come from. Mostly because John REALLY wants one. But I'm not there yet. I fought hard for basic financial security in my divorce but that doesn't mean I don't need to work. If I wanted out of gov't housing - I have to bring home some bacon. So after 2 yrs renting - I was able to buy a small house and start to rebuild a life for the children. If it were just me, I wouldn't care where I lived. I'd live in my car. But I'm choosing family first. And in a few years I'll order a 70" TV and not worry about where in the budget that money is coming from. :)

I haven't been to any WordCamps this year because - family first. We have had a full year of one medical expense after another for the children. I knew this was coming - and I reallocated my travel funds for oral surgeries, ear tubes, and orthodontics. Because family first.

It's not a lofty goal.

It's a lifestyle.

And therein lies the crux.