I don’t often post comments, but I read the Tavern almost daily. This post (and the comments) really hit home for me.

I’m now the proud father of a beautiful 7-month old boy, and it’s forced me to take an entirely new perspective of “family first.” I figured it may help some people out there in a similar situation for me to share my experience balancing my work, my wife, our new baby, and the rest of my life.

I run my own business doing web design, development, and consulting. I don’t have any employees, so almost all projects are handled exclusively by myself. I used to work the better part of 60 hours each week and not even notice it, but with a baby in my life that’s just not going to fly if I want to be a present father and supportive husband. (Which I do. Even more than I desire professional success.)

Fortunately, the arrival of a baby is something you can plan for, and I knew the first month was going to be nuts so I made sure my workload was light for the first month. I planned on taking 1 week off, transitioning to part-time work week 2, and hitting a near-full-time stride by the end of week 4.

Talk about a parenting noob getting pwned! Anyone who’s had a baby knows that wasn’t a realistic expectation. As a result, my own expectations of what I could realistically accomplish had to be adjusted. Multiple times. It was difficult. It still is. I don’t think that will ever change.

What’s crazy is that while I had my lowest earning total in the past 5 years in January, I’m actually on track to make 2015 the most lucrative year for my business to date. I believe this is due to a number of factors:

1.) I’ve raised my rates by around 25%. The value of my time has reached an entirely new level, and I have no choice but to charge accordingly. In my opinion, I’m charging at around the ceiling of what I can get away with for my target clientele.

2.) I’ve become laser-focused when I’m at work. I have a window of around 8am-5pm Monday-Friday to accomplish everything on my plate. Very little gets done outside of those bounds. This is approximately 15-25% less time that I used to work. Right now this is more due to necessity than by personal choice, but I’m liking it and I’m going to try to stick with it. I’m finding that my productivity is almost the same as it was before. I’m just working more effectively and efficiently.

3.) I’ve ditched the bullshit. I fired my first client and I’ve become more direct with the clients that I’ve retained. I don’t have time to beat around the bush. I’ve taken ownership of my time and I’m not going to let others waste it for me. I’m forcing clients to operate on my own schedule. Really what I'm saying is that I've gotten better at saying "no."

4.) I’ve become more selective about the clients I take on and the working relationships that I forge. I need to make sure that my new projects will be a financial success inline with my new rates, and that the clients I’m working with are goal-oriented, self-starters who understand my personal situation and can communicate their needs effectively. If I see any red flags during my initial communication with a potential client I try to eloquently cut off negotiations.

I’m well aware that the achievements I’ve made are the result of new actions put in place based on experience gained from years of hard work (as the most-astute Chris Lema has discussed above). I couldn’t have done the items mentioned above if I hadn’t had over 10 years of professional experience under my belt (6 of which have been spent working for myself).

While I acknowledge that on paper this sounds like wild success, let me tell you, it doesn’t always feel that way. It’s easy to focus on all of the shortcomings both in my work and my personal life each night as my head hits the pillow.

What’s still lacking is the personal time for myself and the quality time my wife and I used to have together.

I used to go surfing regularly in the summer. I used to train for century rides on my bike (that’s 100 miles, and yes, it’s kind of crazy). I used to go out for coffee during the day and linger for 15 minutes just to “hang” and “take a break.”

My wife and I used to sit and watch TV together. We used to go out to dinner sometimes. We used hold each other for a few minutes in the morning before getting out of bed. Hell, we used to talk about something, anything, other than our baby and the logistics of taking care of him.

I/we do all these things sporadicly now, if at all. But I’m cool with it because my little guy makes it worth it and right now my priority is him. And I know at some point in the near future when he’s a little older a bit of this balance is going to come back into place.

Life is a work in progress. I’ve made a lot of it this year, but I acknowledge that there’s still a long way to go. Thanks for letting me share. I hope I’ve helped someone out there.