Craziest Upgrade Story Game

I had so much fun on Twitter the other day coming up with bizarre methods of upgrading WordPress that I have decided to host a giveaway. Here is how it works. You come up with the craziest, funniest story of how WordPress could be upgraded. I’ll take what I consider to be the best three or five stories and put them in a poll and allow you to have the final say on who gets the reward which will be a single license API key for GravityForms. I’ll be on vacation next week so you have plenty of time to put your story together. Here is my crazy story of which none of it is true.

When there is an upgrade available, I should be able to ping Matt Mullenweg and have him air dropped to my location. After he lands on my roof he asks me three questions. First, is my theme GPL? Second, am I using any non GPL plugins? Third, do I advertise any themes or plugins that are non GPL? If I have answered no to any of these questions, he immediately gets in a cab and goes home. But, if I answer Yes to all of those questions, he sits in the same computer chair I do and I get to watch him perform the upgrade for me. If the upgrade breaks, we play darts to figure out which plugin or theme we want to blame and then we remove it from the site. At some point, we stop the upgrade process to have a swift drink of Famous Daves Sweet And Zesty BBQ sauce. He then tries the upgrade again until it works. Once he has upgraded my site, he gives me a hat tip, crawls inside of my PC and then emails himself as an attachment back to San Francisco.