If you're not paying me money, #9 and #10 usually gets you the quickest reply. But, it probably won't be helpful, and it definitely won't be pretty. ;)

Just to add to number 10: The issue with this isn't necessarily the "!@#$" words but how the sentence is phrased. You should almost never tell a developer that there's a problem with the theme/plugin. It's always best to talk in terms of "I" in this regard.

While running an actual support forum, I find the most common problem is that users don't give me enough information to help them. Many times, my first reply to a user is a list of several questions I need answered before proceeding.