This post title is hilarious :D TGIF! @Bruce Wampler More power to you man, but you should consider refactoring (again). I just scrapped thousands of lines of code to get speeds in the milliseconds. It pissed me off to do so, but afterwards, my theme runs silky smooth and buttery. Your goal is cool for your end-users, but I suggest you do more research on IA, UI, UX and fundamental design principles. THEN, revisit the Customizer and execute your new gameplan. Good luck!